This evening finds me a little weepy and alone, dealing with a slightly traumatic event with my father. My two friends aren’t answering their phones, so that leaves me without anyone to talk to. I am really needing this panic to leave my body, so I will write…

This afternoon I went to the doctor with my dad, after we went to a (very) early dinner at sizzler, yes sizzler. All of this is a normal occurrence in our lives, I often go with my Pop to do things I wouldn’t otherwise want to do simply to spend time with him, and because we will usually share a meal after our errand. Today was no different until my dad began to grab for my hand and stand up from the table, with one flash of terror I realized that he was choking, and I had to save him. I leapt from my seat and wrapped my arms around him and tried to perform the Heimlich maneuver, for a couple reasons it was unsuccessful. I knew that my dad could not breathe, and was quickly losing color in his face, I turned to the closest group of people and screamed ”Help me please, he’s choking!!” 

I remember after those words left me, thinking how strange it sounded, that kind of fear had never left my body in a voice that sounded like that.  I looked into my dads eyes for a split second as I continued to hit him aggressively on the back and saw his silver eyes stare right through me, I knew this had to be fixed, he was going to stop choking and goddamn it I was going to do it. I turned him around and began to coach him to perform the Heimlich on himself using the back of his chair. Somehow, thank God, whatever was stuck came loose and my dad could breathe, we had created a crowd of (mostly useless) onlookers and dismissed the ambulance that had been dispatched and after a little while everything went back to “normal”. 

I’m sure my dad and I will never talk about how scared we both were while all of this was going on, and it had already become fuel for my dad’s really dry humor. But here’s the thing, my dad is not the type of guy to ask for help, ever. He passed this trait onto my sister and I, and tonight I felt such release yelling across that room for someone to help us, I’m not sure if I will ever be the same. I was unafraid and I knew it was bigger than me, so I unashamedly screamed for help, and help is what came.

** Although it is not mentioned above, yes a couple of people did come over to assist. One man in particular was very helpful and even came over again before he left to say, how glad he was that my pop was okay. I am grateful Mexican man in the navy t-shirt, immeasurably grateful!!